Talking to yourself can be a great conversation
30 Apr 2022 by Ted Escobedo
3 min read
What we say to ourselves, when we say it, and how, has a tremendous impact on our self-esteem, beliefs about self-efficacy, and overall sense of worth.
Dr. Julia Harper, an occupational therapist and life coach, believes that it’s normal for us to talk to ourselves, but stresses that it’s important to do it the right way. “Self-talk is a normal part of the development of language," she says. "It improves our higher order cognitive and meta-cognitive skills and is a fundamental part of self-mastery. Because of its functionality, not only do we all self-talk, but it would also behoove us to do it well.” Here’s how.
Self-talk should be thought of as a healthy way of giving ourselves the support we need to get through a moment. It’s us showing up for ourselves and being the friend, we need.
Know more:https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/talking-yourself-normal-here-s-how-master-it-ncna918091
Be kind to yourself: There’s anecdotal evidence, and even a handful of scientific studies, that confirm the positive effect words of encouragement can have on performance. (Sports psychology is leading the research on this topic.) It makes sense, then, that negative self-talk serves us poorly and ought to be avoided. “If we’re talking to ourselves negatively, research suggests that we’ll more likely guide ourselves to a negative outcome,” says Dr. Harper. Use self-talk to your advantage: Cheering yourself on before an important event or talking to yourself while completing a task are two great opportunities for self-talk. In fact, a small study published in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology found that when looking for familiar items like keys, speaking to themselves and saying the name of the item out loud helped people find the objects more quickly. You can also use self-talk to work through extreme emotions — including anger, sadness, confusion and stress — and to sort out personal dilemmas. Consider the act a sort of “spoken journal to yourself.” As an extension of that idea, it’s also argued that talking out loud while studying can help expedite and cement your understanding of the topic, notes Dr. Don Vaughn, a neuroscientist who studies human behavior. “One study found that asking oneself out loud what a piece of information means significantly improved learning,” explains Dr. Vaughn. “An explanation for this may be that the process of answering a question improves consolidation of information from working memory into long-term memory. One is effectively speeding up the learning process by acting as both the inquiring teacher and the challenged student.” Don’t forget to listen: “It’s important to note that talking to yourself is a two-part process: the talking and the listening,” says Dr. Harper. “Self-listening, otherwise known as self-awareness, is a primary factor in offering feedback for self-efficacy.”
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