Whether at work or at home most of us will feel that are efforts are overlooked or underappreciated. Take heart, here’s some tips on what you can do.
• Clarify your needs. You need to get clear about what it is you need and what it is you are not getting. Think about what the other person is or is not doing that is making you feel unappreciated and taken for granted. Once you have that clarity, you can then approach the other person.
• Describe the facts of the situation from an objective viewpoint. Withhold your personal your perspective and feelings, that part comes later.
• Express how you feel. Now you add your feelings and how the situation and actions of the other person impacted you. Use “I” statements so that it does not seem as if you are attacking the other person. “I want or don’t want” vs. “you should or shouldn’t.” Stick to your feelings rather than judging the other person. “I feel hurt,” vs. “you are a bad boyfriend.” Example: When you come home much later than you said, I feel hurt and disrespected.
• Assert what outcome you would like. Whether it’s an apology, a specific action, or a complete change. Example: I would appreciate it if, in the future, you will call me to let me know that you will be late.
• Negotiate and be willing to compromise. Think back on your needs and priorities and let go of smaller things for the sake of the goal. Offer other solutions. For example, if your request is for the person to call you when they are going to be late, they might say something like “I am busy working and don’t have time to call you.” In that case, you may suggest “how about you send me a text instead?” If the other person is not agreeing to any of the options, turn the tables, ask them what they think a good middle ground would
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• Emotional Health